Growing up, I always heard people share stories about struggling to get something done. They would conclude with, “I guess I just wasn’t supposed to get X done today”. They wrap up their story of the struggle by claiming that the universe put every obstacle in their way so that they WOULDN’T complete said task.

This idea came to my mind when I was doing laundry… I know, “What does Teagan’s laundry have to do with MY wedding?” Hear me out!

It was that time for procrastination to stop, I had to get my laundry done. With two baskets full of laundry, I went down to my local laundromat. Once I got out of my car and ready to load my laundry I realized that I left my debit cards and cash at home. I had no way of paying to start the washer and dryer. “Great”, I thought, “I’ll just do it tomorrow”. 

When I got back to my place I realized how silly it was that I gave up so quickly, so I grabbed some cash and went back to the laundromat, now with a slight drag in my feet. 

I hadn’t yet purchased more laundry detergent; it’s pretty expensive in my small town so I had been waiting for my run to the bigger town nearby. I was relying on the one-dollar vending machine detergent to get me through these couple of loads. 

I sat in front of that vending machine for 5 minutes trying to get it to take my payment, but it wouldn’t budge. Is my dollar faced the wrong way? Am I entering the code wrong? I swear I tried every possible way to get that little box of detergent out of that machine!

So I go over to my loaded washer and start, yet again, taking out my laundry. That familiar saying popped into my head, “Guess I wasn’t SUPPOSED to do my laundry today”. As soon as I had that thought, more filled my mind and I paused right there.

Says WHO?

Who is the one saying I’m not supposed to do my laundry? Who is the one telling me to give up right now? 

I don’t have to listen to that lie of giving up when things get hard. But more than that, I don’t need to believe that there has to be some underlying reason whenever things go sour. Or that the reason is to stop trying! I was reminded of James 1:12, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him”. Yes, this scripture goes deeper than just doing laundry. However, God’s character shines all through remaining steadfast in the struggle.

Encouraged by this, I put my laundry back into the washer and ran to the local grocery store. I bought that overpriced detergent with a skip in my step. I didn’t give the enemy, my doubt, or my laziness determine whether or not I would get my laundry done. Looking back, it was just an extra trip home and to the store.

We give into this lie often. Maybe it’s to make ourselves feel better about the struggle, or it’s just a common phrase that takes over our view of trials. But friend, how cool would it be to keep trying until you conquer that obstacle? How amazing of a story is it when YOU decide when something is or isn’t a possibility?

Now I am not saying to let yourself suffer or to pain yourself unnecessarily. But I could have given up on my laundry and let myself procrastinate even longer. Instead, it felt great overcoming those challenges and not letting those little hills determine my actions!

So, how does this apply to your wedding? I’m sure you’re already making the connection.

Wedding planning is stressful and has WAY bigger hills and valleys than my trip to the laundry mat. That actually makes this point even more important for you. You have life-changing decisions on your hands! When we look for reasons that something isn’t going right, we can convince ourselves of reasons that simply aren’t true.

Here’s what I fear for my brides. I’ll use Sara to illustrate this point. Sara and her maid of honor have had a hard time planning the wedding. Her fiance, Michael, has kept his hands out of the mess for the most part and is busy planning the honeymoon. They are eager to get married, but all the stress from planning is starting to make their excitement become anxiety. 

Hurdle after hurdle, they face obstacles. The date they want won’t work for the groom’s family from out of town. The venue they want is booked up. They can’t find a florist. Her dress isn’t coming together right. They’re learning to budget for the first time together, and it’s not coming smoothly. Struggles just keep coming! Sara then goes into that mindset that society has pounded into her brain. She can’t help but think, “Maybe I shouldn’t be getting married”.

AHHH!

Don’t let the struggle do this to you! Wedding planning IS stressful, but it’s beautiful. Overcoming challenges like this is part of what makes that wedding day have its bliss. You work hard, and you DO get the reward. You get to choose your hard and don’t let these obstacles tell you that you aren’t ready to be married or that you’re an unworthy bride or groom. If God wants that door closed, He WILL close that door. He’s stronger than you and will put a door there you can’t open if that REALLY was the case. 

But, my friend, maybe that is the complete opposite of the case. Those challenges can not only make your wedding stronger but your marriage too! I hope that next time something goes wrong, and you think “Maybe this wasn’t supposed to happen”, ask yourself, “Says who?”

Let that instinct of quitting empower you to squash those fears and overcome challenges with grit and excitement for your future. Have good people to lean on, and keep moving forward! Your wedding is going to be beautiful.

My bride and grooms know to reach out to me. But if you are new here and have any questions about how to make your wedding planning less stressful, or need tips on how to get through the stress, reach out! I’d love to chat!